I am Water, and I have chosen to fall from the sky!

Slowly but surely I am starting life again.  I wish it had all happened much more quickly, but I am still in the very necessary stage of resource gathering before I can bugger off to the city.  I love it here in the country but it makes me feel a liiiiittle bit like a retiree, which is, needless to say, not really the stage I’m hoping to be at right now.  But! things are looking up!  Acting course starts tonight, I’ve got wheels, and some dosh coming in from two weeks work in the old girl’s cafe.  I CAN’T WAIT to pack up and move to Sydney – there’s only so much post-middle-age company one can keep on a daily basis before one’s perspective becomes a little skewed.

Right now I’m on the couch in front of the fire, waiting for my undies to dry.  Shower-time came, you see, at which point I discovered I am out of clean knickers, so I washed some in the shower (ah! how it reminds me of the days at Honeycroft after Cartridge busted the washing machine by washing her Northern hot brick in it…) and they are now draped decoratively over Wilbur the stoneware wombat, who lives on top of the fireplace.  The crotch is covering his face, and his ears are sticking out through the leg-holes – kind of looks like he just wandered into them by accident.  Most undignified…

I’m a touch frustrated at being committed to two weeks in the cafe, because I’m really hankering to see people.  I feel like I haven’t yet had the chance to pick up properly back here because I desperately want to reconnect with my friends – but then, I need the money, so it works both ways I suppose… And fuck it, it’s damn good barista training as well – gonna be a baptism by fire though, Jesus Christ!  Good luck customers, I say, make sure you bring a good book and plenty of water.

Kingdom of Fear is an awesome book so far.  Sort of a diatribe on the failings of the American nation, written by a particularly opinionated American, not long after September 11.  It’s anecdotes from Thompson’s earlier life, mixed in with some from his recent life, and it makes for interesting reading.  He goes of on these angry rants all the time, and then apologizes and returns to the point – but only briefly, before another rant comes along.  Good stuff, I recommend.  Oh, and it’s studded with brilliant photos from the early years, full of Timothy Leary and Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg and characters like that.  What a life this man led!

Next day…

Alright, it’s the next day and I’m annoyed!  I’m meant to be taking over from Mum’s business partner Mike next week, which basically involves making the coffee and running the floor and the cash register.  It’s a complicated job, and the only way I’m going to learn is by doing it.  It’s going to be stressful at times, but I pride myself on being good under pressure, and I figure the first day will be hell, and then there’s nowhere to go but up.  Mum’s on my back about going in to spend time learning with Mike, so I went in (again) this morning to do what he does, while he’s there, during the busy morning period.  Unfortunately the busy morning period never eventuated, but I just kept making coffees and getting people to taste them, and I seem to be doing OK.  But every time I got even the slightest bit behind, or fucked up a drink, or just generally wasn’t perfect, Mike just took over.  He literally ELBOWED me out of the way on a few occasions.  And this isn’t even when it’s busy!  There’s three customers waiting for coffee, and I’m doing the first two, and he just starts on the third – Christ! There’s only one machine, and he cannot bring himself to fucking well let me take control of it, even for a few hours.  I just want him to fuck off to Europe and let me do my thing.  No one elbows me out of the fucking way, fucking fucker.  So I left.  I thought, ‘fuck you you fucker, fucking fuck!’ and I made an excuse to Mum about meeting Kate in town at midday and pissed off.  So that’s my morning.

On a more positive note, last night was the first class in my short course at NIDA.  God that school it beautiful – the facilities are extraordinary.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly glad I went to London, no regrets at all, but sigh! Nonetheless, I think London will have a greater punch when the stakes are high.  The course is going to be great I think, the teacher seems very well connected and enthusiastic and experienced, and there are only five of us in the class, so plenty of camera time.  I’m relieved – it should be $500 well spent, and I may well learn A LOT and get some scenes for a showreel.  Thumbs up all round – pat on the back to me.

It’s raining with a vengeance at the moment, which I quite enjoy really.  None of this ‘I won’t rain, as such, I’ll just be wet. The damp won’t come from anywhere in particular, it’ll just be.‘  I like my rain to be proud of its wetness.  Come out and say “I am water, and I have chosen to fall from the sky!”  And that’s what this rain is doing.  Thumbs up all round – pat on the back to the rain.

Wow, I feel better.  I sat down in a state of angry resentment, and here I am, all pleased about the weather!  Publiiiiiiiiiiiish!